Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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