Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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