Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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