help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
