Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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