sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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