If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
