Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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