Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
