is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
