Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I would ride that face into the sunset
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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