the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
