if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
