we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
