can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
