i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%