i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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