another moral hangover. fuck.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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