break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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