Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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