So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
as a side note pls kill me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
