Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
