The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
