blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
