I puked a lego.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
