ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
