Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
