the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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