Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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