she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
