& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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