I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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