No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
