Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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