Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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