a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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