The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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