i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
