The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So vagazzling was a success
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