I want to have your abortion
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
