I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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