I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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