every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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