escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
