Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
