its not stalking. its research.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
