you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
