Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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