LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
