he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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