Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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