How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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