If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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