he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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