This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
