Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
