Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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