Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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