Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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