We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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