I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
