it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
